Who grocery shops with a toddler??

I'm beginning to think I shouldn't, anymore. On Friday afternoon Livia and I went grocery shopping, and though she's begun trying to stand up in the front of the cart (yes, she can get out of the belt), the whole process usually goes fairly well. Not this time.

About 20 minutes into the trip (meaning I still had a good 40 minutes to go) Livia began crying. Not just a little cry, we're talking big tears here. Huge. The kind where everyone in the aisle is now giving you dirty looks and you start to panic a little. And here's where I made my big mistake. I got her out of the cart to comfort her.

She calmed down after a minute or so, so I tried to put her back in the front of the cart. And she flatly refused. Some of you may think you can force a child to sit down. Au contraire! Knees locked, arms flailed, lungs screamed. Have you ever tried to get a kid to bend their knees once they've decided they don't want to? It's near impossible.

Plan B: put her in the back of the cart with all the food. I'd never done this before, and at first she just sat there, pleased with the turn of events and content to view the world from this new vantage point. Then she was standing up. Then she was dancing to the music playing over the loudspeakers (made me a little nervous, but was pretty cute). THEN she discovered the joy of stomping, and proceeded to intentionally stomp on two loaves of bread, a box of tissues, and a box of lasagna noodles before I could stop her (significantly less cute).

Yeah, sitting in the back wasn't going to work.

So I tried the front of the cart again and was treated to an encore performance of locked knees, flailing arms, and screaming.

What now??

I tried to hold her on my hip, but she wiggled out of my arms to the ground and started pushing the grocery cart with me. "This could work," I thought. We were almost done, so I just needed her to be entertained by helping me push for a few minutes. Unfortunately the novelty wore off after about 30 seconds, and I spent the next two minutes chasing her all over the bakery section, enjoying more dirty looks from fellow shoppers. I was so exasperated at this point that I seriously contemplated leaving the store right then, cart and all, and going home. But then I'd just have to come back and do it all over again...

Finally captured, Livia was put back into the back of the cart, and wedged in between cans and other non-squashable items.

We finally made it to the checkout stand, where a store manager was eyeing me warily, and the bagger looked at me with a clear question in his eyes, "Where should I put the groceries?" So I told him there was no way she was going to sit in the front today, and just to put them all around her. So he did. She was standing in the middle of the cart surrounded by bags, and staring at me with very wide eyes.

After a few more outbursts all the bags were in the trunk, Livia was buckled in, and I promptly called Chase to beg him to come home as soon. as. possible.

The end.