Conversations with Livia

We've had some gems lately.

Livia: When I grow up, I don't want to be a mommy.
Me: Why not?
Livia: I don't want to have babies.
Me: How come?
Livia: Because I'm not hungry anymore.

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While playing doctor and checking my pulse:
Liv: Yep, you are...distracting.
(When I started giggling she changed her mind and said I had a stomachache instead)

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Liv: If you put people in batter it will taste like bum-bums and skin, right Mom?

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Livia: Mommy, my nipples are growing.
Me: I beg your pardon?
Livia: You know, the brown spots on my arms...
Me: Oh, your freckles. Your freckles are growing. (Phew!)

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Background: Livia had been asking me for things about every 15 seconds while I was trying to cook dinner, and I finally lost my patience.

Me: Livia! I have a lot of other things to do too, you know! The whole world is not about you!!
Livia: It's about love?

(Way to take the wind out of my sails, Liv)

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Livia: When I grow up I want to be an Emily!

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And this last one is quite long. I was having a really entertaining conversation with Livia while she was drawing me some pictures, and halfway through decided to record it on my i-pod. I only wish I'd gotten the first half, because it was really, really good. A lot of the parts that sound particularly random referenced earlier parts of our conversation. But she does have a rich imagination!

It’s a brave stingray, the blowfish puffed it up, as a balloon.

Oh my goodness.

She put him, the stingray in a balloon and it made air.

Oh really?

Stingrays do turn into air.

They do?

Mm-hmm, every day.

Everyday?

Mm-hmm, in the sea. And every night in this kind of sea on the moon.

There’s a sea on the moon? I didn’t know that.

Mm-hmm. And there’s a moon that’s really sharp and sleeping that stinged the stingray. And the stingray flew up into the yucky mud. And it got really muddy and it didn’t have a bath!

Oh dear.

Cuz it was trapped forever.

Oh my.

By the shark. The shark was free! It got alive again!

Oh no!

Do you want to see the shark?

I do want to see the shark.

It’s really big.

Are you drawing me a picture right now?

That big!

Woah.

This kind of shark is not skinny.

What does it eat?

Fish. But the brave fish is the puffer fish. It’s a baby puffer fish that the Wonderpets saved. The same one in the Wonderpets show.  It’s the same kind and the same one.

Oh really?

I don’t know how to make a pufferfish. Oh, fish goes like this. It’s on the really bottom of the sea and goes right here, in the corner. And the baby blowfish is really hard to see it, so none sharks can eat it. And she pops up! Pops up into spiky bones. It’s a big blowfish with bubbles, when she pops up it has spiky bones. And she spikes everyone with her spiky things. She’s like a cactus fish.

She is like a cactus fish.

Oh, I found it! She was killing every fish and everything that stinged her.

That’s a brave fish!

She even escaped from everything, she escaped into a plant and didn’t come out til she was bigger.

Hey, can I ask you a question? Which is worse, a shark or a wolf?

Both of them. They would both win, by a witch. A witch stole the plant.

What plant?

The plant in the sea. And the baby blowfish thought she was going to cook, but she popped out. She was big. She was a grown up. And she popped up into a daddy. Uh, she popped up into a mommy cuz she was a girl, but her brothers popped up into a daddy cuz her brother and sisters and mother and daddy were in a plant. Cuz they were really little, and when they popped out they were big and had sharp teeth just like the sharks and the wolves!

Oh my goodness!

Crazy blowfishes. Do you see the sharp teeth?

I do.

They’re really sharp. Those ones have needles in them.

They do?!

Needles AND thread. And sharp more things. And lots of sharp things!

Like what else?

I don’t know, I haven’t seen them before. I saw a shark, but I don’t remember.

Oh.

They sticked out by tiny teeth. They’re really tiny sharp teeth. Do you want to see the things on the teeth and the really sharp teeth?

Yeah, draw me a picture.

First you have to draw a face and then the other thing. The baby blowfish is round. It has a big family. One was a baby.

That’s the baby? The little circle?

Yeah.

Those are some good blowfish. Are you going to draw some spiky things?

They’re inside. They’re not going to pop out until there are sharks and bad things coming. When there’s wolves, there’s sea wolves. I know a kind of sea wolf. AND it’s really crazy and kills every shark, and doesn’t kill the fish because the fish has spiky bones on it. Every fish, because every fish wasn’t one of those fishes. They were really spiky, they had stingray stuff on them. And it didn’t come off, cuz it has glue on it, that sticks to it forever. And let me show you something on it. Let me see if I can do it…