The following are snippets of conversations we've had with Livia during the past few months.
Livia: “Dad, give me your face. I want to kiss your lips.”
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Me: “Livia, maybe you and Daddy can have a treat while I’m gone!”
Livia (in a very resigned manner): “But I didn’t eat a good enough dinner.”
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Livia: “I had a bad dream! It was really bad. About lions, and tigers, and people. And ducks.
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Livia: (after another bad dream, spoken while sobbing hysterically) It was about a hippopotamus…who crashed…a snowman.
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Livia: Is Jesus a girl?
Me: No.
Livia: He’s a boy?
Me: Yeah
Livia: But he has long hair. Long hair like me.
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Livia: What’s that?
Me: It’s a grapefruit
Livia: What’s its middle name?
Me: Um, I don’t think it has a middle name.
Livia: I know what it is!
Me: Oh?
Livia: It’s second-third-second.
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Me: It’s time for the sacrament. It’s time to think about Jesus.
Livia: I’m thinking!...about…the candy cane. At the grocery store. That’s what I’m thinkin’ about.
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Livia: (waking up in the night, sobbing) There’s a bat!
Me: Livia, there aren’t any bats here, go to sleep.
Livia: No, it’s right there! There’s a bat!
Me: There are NO bats in here.
Livia: Get the bat!
Me: Livia—
Chase: Mary, just get the bat!
Me: (grabbing a handful of air) Oh look, I got it!
Livia: No, it’s over there!
Me: (grabbing a different handful of air) Ok, now I got it.
Livia: Throw it in the trash!!
Me: (throwing the handful of air onto the ground) Okay, it’s gone now.
Livia: (Silence, because she’s now completely calm and going back to sleep)
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Livia (from the back seat of the car): I smell like…baking powder.
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Me: Livia, you’re so cute.
Livia: I’m not cute.
Me: You’re so pretty and nice!
Livia: I’m NOT pretty and nice.
Me: You did such an excellent job.
Livia: I’m NOT es-calent!!
Me: Oookay then.
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Livia: Mommy, you’re short and fat.
Me: (bemused silence. how does one respond to such things??)